The bottom line is:
Make a list of your shows that have influenced you and share them
Curried capability
I have always been curious about films. I definitely love the cinema.
Check out my experiment. I am reusing the MIXPOD facility account to highlight some of the films that have made me laugh and cry over the years in one blog. On my touch I-pod there are over 32 clips from my You Tube library. Please mind the language on some of the clips (not intentional)
The bottom line is....
Birth, Life and Death.
Me
image by guylanon designs
Well everyone, I used my account with i-speech to revamp my first ever blog that I announced all the way last year. Yep here it is:
Automated!!
(Press the orange play button to listen to the recording)
To conclude, grab your partner and dance to this tune by Dame Shirley Bassey
The bottom line is....
Only owe money on a car and a home. Everything else is excess.
The Jewish Phenomenon, Steven Silbiger 
courtesy of news.bbc.co.uk
I love this image. It is Oscar, from Dreamworks 'Shark Tale' standing in front of a home advertising billboard. The way the animation is designed, you would think he is in this house. Oscar is dreaming about what his own 'crib' would look like.
There are a couple of issues that gets everybody arguing. One of them is our homes. As a nation because we have no real sun, we are obsessed with the look of our homes.
What is unknown, is the fact that our homes is a mosaic way of socially engineering the population. There are many who live in social housing which are operated by the council. There are those who have climbed the social ladder to have bought their own home. The difference is massive! If you own your own home you can freely roam around a show such as the Ideal Home show, the Grand Design Show, the Homes and Garden show and The Royal Chelsea show, planning further changes to your home. If you do not own your own home, you do not have direct access to credit. The best you can do is pop into Ikea or other furniture shops.
What can we expect to see at the Ideal Home Show?
A short video on the trip to the Ideal Home Show
Did you notice the price tag of a new 3 bedroom home in Surrey? It was 1/2 million pounds. Despite the recession, this house has increased by £100,000 over two years. I personally went to visit this style of house on another building development in 2008 and have the pictures for my archive.
The real issue is, most people I know would love to have one of these houses with carefully manicured lands. The expense is out of this world. If you took out a mortgage on this house, the expiry of paying the money back would indicate that you would have ended paying back to the bank about a 1 million pounds over 25 years.
How are most young people with low paying jobs and probably no higher education qualification going to afford this? Well there is a way. Cut out the stuff we seem to like to acquire. Do we really need a breadmaker? a food processor, a 42" LCD flat screen, an exercise bike I could go on. One colleague I know only buys essential items such as foods etc from September to December. No clothes or anything else is bought.
Finally it may be advisable to speak to a financial advisor if you do not have one already.
Check out this house design on a budget in Peckham. You will have to copy and paste the link into your URL as my hyperlink setting is not working.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9BgM8QkmGVw
The bottom line is....
"Be a leader of something outstanding. Do not settle for managing something in a average way."
Me
For this year I am invited to see various OFSTED rated Outstanding schools. I cannot film students in their schools as there is totally no need for this. I can report back excellent facilities. It is not the facilities that make a school outstanding. It is the whole calm joined up way these institutions operate that is impressive.
Notre Dame, Sheffield
Let me tell you, the number one trait of an outstanding schools is excellent BEHAVIOUR of the students. Too many times I have been in schools and learning is hampered by poor behaviour. Even worse, the members of staff who have to work in this environment can be praised for putting up with rubbish, however, the truth to be told, it is not an acceptable way to pass a day. It is physically draining and demoralising. Particularly as the key reason why we are in schools is to encourage learning.
The second most desirable trait about an Outstanding school is their results. Achievement is always over 80% of whatever is being measured. Anything less than 80%is totally unacceptable. It must be 80% across the school.
The third desirable trait is the way you observe students and staff tackling functional problems using the following skills toolkit:
Complexity
Familiarity
Technical demand
Independence
You will see high order thinking skills, using the above in outstanding schools. It could be a reason why the environment is calmer for the students are actively engaged, rather than fighting for basic attention and other survival needs.
Heres a tip, beware of schools that uses the word outstanding in their literature profile, when they know it is only aspects of certain departments that are outstanding not the whole school.
For those who are stuck in underperforming schools, I would urge that you have a personal health check. For the stress of these schools can make one ill after awhile.
Remember this film?
'To Sir with Love' starring Sidney Poitier all the way from the 60s?
The bottom line is...
Reminisce
This is my very first album I bought in 1989. En Vogue had 'CLAMP'. 
I was breaking out, invitations to house parties were coming in thick. Naturally you obliged every invitation. For motivation you had to have the latest songs. Spending over an hour in the record shops as we used to call them, searching for albums, used to be a wonderful way to spend time and money. Like most people I acquired a music database to die for.
To reminisce we are planning to see most of the groups that had the edge when were younger.
We attended the Jagged Edge concert to see if they still got what Busta Ryhmes calls:
'CLAMP'
Concept
Lyrically sound
Action, attraction and attitude
Moving music
Production class
My Small Jagged Edge Concert Video
When you get older you realise that not everything matures the way you would like it to. Unfortunately, I do feel these guys have lost their edge.
After arranging baby sitting we managed to sneak out on a SUNDAY EVENING. Many people may not realise, teaching is an anti-social profession. We score very poorly on maintaining friendships outside of work because of the pressures of being responsible for other peoples children. When you have a young family, most of us are tucked up in bed early on a Sunday evening, vexed about having a short weekend with little time for oneself. Even more vexed about the amount of tasks needed to be completed during the week.
Approaching the Millennium Dome is very difficult when there is traffic. We were waiting in the car for over an hour outside of the car parks. Inside the venue was excellent. Vocally the three who managed to turn up were ok. When you have to be listening to miming over tracks at high pitch I was wondering whether if I should have attended the X-Factor event next door. What has happened to the deep voice singers? You know, the Barry Whites, Teddy Pendergrass and Isaac Hayes. I know they may be dead, but can't we have some deep voice singers again?
We intend to see other back in the days acts.
Stay locked onto this blog for more multimedia news from other esteemed artists concerts such as Mariah Carey, Boys II Men etc.
Who remembers this happening tune 1990 En Vogue 'Hold On'?
The bottom line is:
Believe in something, but do not mix religion and politics.
You know there used to be a famous saying:
'If you want to hide something from black people, put it in a book'.
Well this obtuse comment did not work for me. One thing I miss about being a student is the freedom to read until you are blue in the face. As an undergraduate my appetite for reading was insatiable. I would read at home, while travelling abroad, before I went to sleep and first thing in the morning. I am talking about a time when Nelson Mandela was still in prison in South Africa. Hence, at the beginning of the 90s I fondly remember reading Irvine Wallaces book: "The Man"
Wow, what a book! The book was written all the way in 1964. Strangely at the time, I did not think it was conceivable to have a black man as a President. Black guys in films always died early, so you can easily be conditioned to believe Black people will not amount to much. The only way black people were portrayed in the media was in sport and music. Well the President in this book did not die. Society did try to impeach him. The killer point of the book was a powerful lesson for me. If the boxer Mike Tyson had read the book before his February 10th 1992 conviction, he could have ignored the booty call he received late one night. When the President found himself in the company of women alone in the Oval Office, he always left the DOOR OPEN.
Bam!! Beat that for advice. If you can get the book, read it.
I do not comment on religion or politics. However, when President Obama was running for election in USA my immediate thoughts went to this book. Times have sure changed.
I do not have the luxury of reading a lot these days. Here is a list of magazines I read to fill the gap:
http://shecaribbean.com
For those of us from the caribbean:
http://www.oprah.com/omagazine.html
http://www.managementtoday.co.uk
http://www.ninetyninemag.co.uk/index.html
Do you remember the award winning The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, the American television sitcom that originally aired on NBC from September 10, 1990, to May 20, 1996? Man I had fun in them days!
I have to add one of my favourites, a short clip of Will Smith verses Helena in the boxing ring:
The bottom line is:
Every man has a poem in his heart.
Mike Gayle
I love reading. I have read all the James Clavell "Shogun" series. All the Tom Clancy "Ryan" series. All the John Grisham "Client/lawyer" series and all of the Dan Brown series. There are more authors that I could mention. Sometimes there are periods in your life when your favourite authors have not published anything.
It was through one spell of drought, late 90s, I was on one of my monthly searches in the book shops for new material to read. Along came 'Mr Commitment' written by Mike Gayle. I was immediately attracted to the colour of the cover. I was apprehensive at first. I overcame my fear and purchased the book. That was 11 years ago. Since then you do not know how many times I have bought personal copies of the same book for some of my commitment phobic friends.
Allow me to introduce you to Mike Gayle if you do not already know him.
According to www.Wikipedia.org, Mike is a British author and freelance journalist contributing to a variety of magazines including FHM and Sunday Times Style. He was an agony aunt for Just Seventeen and Bliss before he wrote books.
This is his website:
http://www.mikegayle.co.uk/ (please copy and paste address into your URL toolbar)
This is his list of books:
My Legendary Girlfriend (1998), Flame, ISBN 0-340-71816-1
Mr. Commitment (1999), Flame, ISBN 0-340-71825-0
Turning Thirty (2000), Flame, ISBN 0-340-76794-4
Dinner for Two (2002), Flame, ISBN 0-340-82342-9
His 'n' Hers (2004)
Brand New Friend (2005), ISBN 0-340-82539-1
Wish You Were Here (2007)
The Life & Soul of the Party (2008)
The Importance of Being a Bachelor (2010)
His ninth book is a non-fiction novel called The To Do List, about his own efforts to complete a 1277-item To Do List.
Let me tell you, if you were born in the 70s in England (in the midlands, like I was), here is a gentleman that takes you on a nostalgic journey through time. More importantly, his books navigate through the unsaid dramas of relationships.
If you work with 'Screenagers' like I do, his material is a fantastic foundation to build upon. He has a way of describing the highs and the lows and even the scary dilemmas. For instance one of his books describes a young couples argument in IKEA. I am sure we can all relate to this.
Another book describes the story of a young man, who goes on holiday, starts a holiday romance, only to break it at the end of the holiday. A good few years later, the same young guy is married but unfortunately his wife is unable to conceive. Then out of the blue a young girl who is his daughter (from the holiday romance) gets in touch with the same guy. He did not know he had a young pretty daughter. The dilemma was, should he tell his wife? Secretly he was ecstatic to know that he had a doting young daughter that he can relate to because the said guy wrote for a popular teenage magazine. That is how the girl found him. What would you do?
One more I must share, how many of us have best friends who are of the opposite sex? How does your husband/wife or partner feel about this? He has written a book on that topic too! I tell you for the last 11 years my family have been sharing his dramatic style of writing. Once I start one of his books, all you can hear is the frequent giggles. 
I am sure one day he is going to explore the area of social networking sites. According to one research, having a Blackberry adds 10 extra working days a year. Or he may look into if Technology has taken its toll on relationships by leapfrogging the whole blind date thing.
(see http://blogs.abcnews.com/aheadofthecurve/2010/03/is-technology-taking-its-toll-on-our-relationships.html)
(Mikes kind of writing would make good mini-series TV dramas. Something else I would add to my ever growing TV channel)
You know, good books and good music are a couple of ingredients that prevent you from becoming depressed.
Thanks Mike (another one) for things we are too afraid to talk about.
Example of my back in the days raving diet, Lauryn Hill That Thing:
The bottom line is:
All 'humans' are equal, but some humans are more equal than others' (substituted the word animal for human)
George Orwell, Animal Farm
When I was growing up, we used to use the word Prejudice. Now we call it Racism. The word racism did exist, for some reason prejudice was the lingua franca at the time. Fortunately, I was shielded from the full force of prejudice. Whereas I was taught not to feel ashamed of my colour, I was not totally protected.
Even now sometimes, I have to go to an off the beaten track assignment. When I enter the premises, the look I receive from some peoples faces is astonishing. Many times, I find that I am the only one from my background to be present. Most of the time I am accepted, there have been occasions when I have blatently been ignored.
I have learned that, it does not help my cause, if I play up to the misguided stereotype of my background. In other words: 'chip on their shoulders, always loud, always lazy and definitely always late'.
Further, my cause is not advanced if I do not read. Like most people, I spend a lot of my time reading.
Quite often you can go through life either fighting tooth and nail or allowing people to discriminate against you by taking advantage of you.
I will never forget my first interview I had for teaching before leaving university. Picture the situation, mid 90s, John Majors Britain. There was that slip of the tongue prevailing thought distributed by the media that said that: "all young black men were muggers!". This did not make us young men feel good. Still it was before Islamophobia of the 21st Century.
I was virtually penniless, no assets apart from the unkempt hair on my head, cd player (young brother had to have his music), and the shirt on my back.
I was completing the final year of my teacher training course. After four years of full time studying, the pressure was on to find a job to settle quickly into routine to pay off my ever growing student debts. As usual I was competing for a Newly Qualified Teachers positions with all of the other students who were completing their degree at the same time. We are talking pre MP3 days, pre PDF documents, pre Google and Facebook.
The school was in the stockbroker belt of Surrey. A well to do secondary school in Esher to be precise. I filled in the application form, posted the letter on time and waited for a response. A day before the scheduled interview date for those successful candidates who were contacted early and shortlisted, I was phoned with the instructions to attend. I did not know that the school had an internal candidate.
I borrowed some money for a new suit, and tried to make myself presentable. I scoped out my journey to ensure that I arrived on time.
I arrived at a wonderfully equipped school. The type of school that most parents dreamed of. The reception I was given was not so great. When they saw me, I received the famous 'Blazing Saddles' look; (The teacher is a .........). Needless to say, by todays standards I was asked the most personal questions. When I reflect, it was more like an interrogation of who I am trying to impersonate. I was not incandescent with rage for wasting my time. I kept my cool. When you have grown up as the underdog, stopped and questioned countless times by the Police (believe it or not I did study in Eltham, Stephen Lawrence demise territory), you learn that shouting and screaming is not the most diplomatic way of being listened to. Thankfully, I did not get the job.
There are other non transparent events that I cannot forget. For instance, in the past, when I applied for certain courses that will advance my career prospects, at referee point, my reference have been deliberately lost. The result is that I missed the deadline round, leading to my missing the interviews.
Life is hard, however, life is hard for everyone. Even for those who practise being prejudice.
On my life journey, I have met the most wonderful people too. People who treat you with no prejudice. These are the ones who go out of their way to hospitably share what they know and who they know. They have taught me the value of TRUST. Obviously we cannot trust everyone, neither do I expect everyone to trust me without truly knowing me. It is these kind natured people that I try to model myself after today.
For what is the point of bearing grudges against people who enjoy discrimination?
Remember this?
A not so funny? Infamous scene from the film from 1974 (round abouts when I was born) Blazing Saddles starring Cleavon Little as the new Sheriff.
The bottom line is:
All children need, is a little help, a little hope and somebody who believes in them.
E.M Johnson
Have you seen the 2010 Academy Award winning film Precious? If you are looking for a good Friday feel factor, this certainly is not the film to whine down to.
Below is the trailer for the film Precious:
If you ever get involved in child protection cases, you will know that they are some of the most complex circumstances made up of imperfect knowledge, ethical dilemmas mixed into a lethal cocktail of an emotionally charged atmosphere.
Working in schools you realise very quickly that within a large percentage of families, you will find cases similar to Precious.
I do not need to go into why these cases exist. I can comment on what we can do to reduce cases such as Precious if it is part of your job specification.
All agencies, including families, need to develop critical oversight. Actually, it is harder to practice than is written. The reason for this is, we are bombarded by MEDIA HYPE.
Hype may be viewed as a tool to distract the discerning audience, however, it is more sinister than this. Incorrect interpretation of hype can lead to witch hunts.
Generally hype asserts itself by ensuring that most people (including families) do not have full access to the truth. If you look carefully, a culture of secrecy, cover-ups and defensiveness prevail.
Therefore, to be effective, critical oversight is a robust method that is open about causes and actions.
When analysing you have to constantly ask key questions. The very first one relating to the APPRECIATION of the subjects life.
To illustrate, imagine you are going to buy a new car for £14,000. 3 years later you decide to sell the car for a new model. Do you expect to receive £14,000 in transfer for a new model? Obviously you would receive less because the car has DEPRECIATED.
In other words the value of the car is lower than when you purchased it. A car is an inanimate object, one we are willing to spend thousands of pounds to maintain. Do we view life as precious as a car to the point of maintaining it?
In ideal conditions, the value of someones life should appreciate. Some kind of evidence of balanced growth should be recognisable. If physical, mental (including education attainment) and emotional growth is absent, your critical oversight should tell you to investigate deeper.
Another essential tool in the critical oversight box is the ability to use your senses. Is something not right? the colours, the smells, the subjects health appearance, is there estimated improvements? Are they being secretive? are they being defensive? If the answer is the affirmative, log your investigation by reporting to the authorities.
That said, it is hoped that you are never involved in such judgement cases in the first place.
Below is a song we used to listen to in the early days of rap music during the 80s. The group called Public Enemy: "Don't believe the hype"
The bottom line is:
"If you are not going to give me something beneficial then I will not give you my attention. Make it relevant to me"
Games Strategy marketing for teenagers
image courtesy of www.ideo.com
Every year I have to talk to Parents at Parents Evenings. Something I don't understand is, why even the brightest of my students do not talk to their Parents. Everything is a don't know error message.
One of my first question after greeting the parents is:
"has your child told you what they have been achieving in my classroom for the last 3 months?"
95% of the time the answer is always a resounding:
"no, my kids don't talk to me. Which is why I am here, for obviously they spend a lot of time talking to you!"
Hmm, I can understand when my friends and family privately complain that they do not hear or see me. I would agree.
Look at it from my point of view. I work with SCREENAGERS who are not the fastest of beings when they are not processing information. I clock well in excess of over 45 hours a week.
For some reason they will not talk to their parents, therefore we in school are their backup developmental communication device. Over the last 15 years, working in schools, I have witnessed how technology has interwoven into teenagers lifestyle. Compared to my days in the 80s and early 90s, the definition of digital divide was still encased in military hardware.
This is where the fatigue comes in, we spend a lot of hours every week crunching fuzzy logic data into useful information. Teachers are required to adapt or we die. The only way to beat students is to join them. This is the fun part of my job. Apart from a great deal of talking, you have to develop knowledge acquisition strategies that will enable you to think like a young mind. We end up sharing the same thirst for 'more input' For good legal reasons, Teachers are not allowed to be part of their social network. For why would you wish to communicate with them outside of the confines of school?
Incidentally did you know that a beginning teacher in their first year frequently has sore throats because of the increased talking.
For those of you who are parents, worried about the future, allow me to share with you something that you may or may not know about how students interact in their world.
Why Screenagers?
Well, forget back in the days of waiting to use the one telephone in the house style.
Screenagers are surrounded by the glow of some sort of screen dispensing some sort of information. Here is the Beta Life summary written by Andy Pipes from Channel 4 who commissioned some research from OTX into the relationships that kids aged 12-24 have with technology.
The average 12-24 year old (or not, if you are one):
Personally own 8 devices (including MP3 player, PC, TV, DVD player, mobile phone, stereo, games console, and digital camera)
Frequently conduct over 5 activities whilst watching TV
25% of them agree that “I’d rather stay at home than go on a holiday with no internet or phone access”
A quarter of young people interviewed text or IM (instant message) friends they are physically with at the time.
Have on average 123 friends on their social network spaces
And the first thing the majority of them do when they get home is turn on their PC.
The real issue with young people glued to some kind of screens is that many eventually succumb to sleep deprivation. Recent reports have proven what we have known for ages is that young people are averaging 4-5 hours sleep per night rather than the recommended 9 hours their growing bodies deserve.
This can have serious consequences on their physical and emotional well being. Maybe they are fortunate not to be affected now, but, at some point their bodies will ask them to repay those lost hours in the future. But you know what, they may have an 'app' for that too.
So if you want to connect fully with your child/ren I suggest you ignore the error message your kids may give you and get up to speed from a technological point of view.
Listen to music for quite often the songs have hidden meanings such as this classic:
Zapp and Rogers Computer Love
Alternatively check out Scribemedia.org view on screenagers.
You read here it first on curriedflavouredflipproductions10 the only multimedia blog making metamorphic links : )
The bottom line is:
"By the rivers of Ancient Babylon with its famous hanging gardens, she rarely released her inhabitants. Once you are in, you are trapped for life"
Ok I have a confession. Allow me to explain. I am still in Primary school in the middle of the 80s, Thatchers Britain. The Space shuttle was in her early days, Freddie Laker with his no frills flights had just gone bust. No Ayia Napa, or Ibiza, no mobile phones, no walkmans or I-pods, no internet, no satellite tv unlike america, no reality TV shows, 4 channels on government TV.
VHS video tapes, 33" and 45" Vinyl and cassettes was the main music medium, CD's was just coming in. Atari games console was the ultimate gift. A time when we were so proud when our home computers (mine was a Commodore Vic 20) had a maximum of memory 5Kb.
Where did I live? Babylon! I am talking about London, UK.
A serious melting pot of people of all languages tribes and tongues. If you wanted to hear a foreign language, or see culture and diversity, come to London. It was not a trouble free existence. We had reminders about freeing Nelson Mandela in South Africa, feed the world campaign to feed the starving in Ethiopia. Like all major cities, the boundaries of ‘the haves’ and ‘the have nots’ were rife.
I enjoyed school. My tranquillity was punctuated by the Tottenham and Brixton riots and being frequently stopped by the police who would ask me strange questions.
Life was not totally devoid of technology. Forget MP3s and 'YouTube', we did have the ubiquitous double cassettes decks. We competed against one another by seeing who could produce the best mix cassette of RnB, Roots and Rock Steady and Reggae by taping directly off the radio on Sundays. When you listened to singers such as Aswad, Tipper Irie "Police Officer don't give me producer" and Musical Youth "Pass the Dutchie" they echoed the frustration of black people, including the Rastas who felt that we were permanently condemned to "Babylon".
It was not all doom and gloom.
London occasionally had thick fogs, something we hardly see today. When the weather was poor, we walked to school. We did not have days off school when it snowed. And boy it religiously snowed back then.
So imagine my shock when this young beautiful black women presented the weather! She was the first to do so on mainstream TV. It was love at first sight! Her name was Rianna
Rianna Scipio presenting the weather:
Rianna Scipio interview by Totalite de Femmes
Wow, she was my 'Toni Braxton'. My first secret goddess and girlfriend. At the time I did not understand what a crush was, but I could not wait for her next weather bulletin at the weekends. I would be glued to the TV soaking up every word.
Of course we had famous afro-american black women such as Tina Turner and Aretha Franklin, Oprah was just starting out in the states, however, I am not talking about these great women. I am referring to Rianna. She was the sunshine in my life.
If I had my own TV channel today, she would still be on television presenting whatever she wanted. My TV channel would have alot of mature women of whatever background. Despite the technological advances, what beats me is why mature women are not on TV today. Are they all hiding? Have they all retired? Anyway, growing up, I may have been stuck near the River Thames in Babylon, but, with women like Rianna, I certainly was not going to be complaining : )
Check out this film entitled "Babylon". Which was filmed around where I grew up in South East London. (Please be mindful of some of the language, I do not intend to offend.)
I have to add another classic dedicated to all the survivors of the 80s.
The bottom line is:
Responsible Fathers cannot hide. They have a job to do.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/columnists/libby_purves/article7044594.ece
All those men who run away, who mistreat their other half, not prepared to spend money on their partners and children, are too immature to maintain a respectful relationship, too afraid to commit then I would suggest you skip this blog and read something else.
Working in schools for over 15 years is a privaledged access to examine the genesis of all kinds of human behaviour. Through the safeguarding legislation and educational achievement some of us teachers are automatically involved in the relationships between parents and their children. You will be surprised how frequently we have to mediate between parents and children, parents against their partners, absent fathers (I do not mean violent and dangerous men who have been given a court order to stay away from their child/ren) and irresponsible mothers (for some reason or another the mothers who lie and cheat to prevent the father from accessing the child).
You can have poverty, illness and social injustices, however, some of the worst cases are when love is lost between two parents. Leading one parent to be struggling to raise the child/ren on their own. School is treated as a battleground for spiteful and other damaging behaviours. The effects on the childs attainment is devastating. When you see how the affected children behave in the classroom, learning almost comes to a standstill for them and their peers. Unfortunately inner city schools have a great proportion of inbalanced families with protection orders extended to include the school of the children.
I am not in the position of being judge and jury. I cannot say, just fix things by making sure that you have met the right person to love. Neither, would I want to be responsible for forcing couples to love one another when it is clear there has been a terrible breakdown. My main interests lie with stopping the bickering, put the children first before oneself by ensuring the child/ren are safe.
When I am mediating, I refer to notes I made years ago. According to Loeber, 1990, one of the best predictors of childrens conduct disturbances is parental supervision. Children whose parents are not involved in their everyday life, are more likely to develop antisocial personalities.
The key point is Parents, by definition, reasonably adjusted people sharing the burden of bringing up the children despite of the incredible challenges and sacrifices. Unfortunately I meet hundreds of mothers doing it on their own.
Balanced fathers (I mean those who do not fit the category of weak, depressed, drugged, or lovelorn regularly intimidating their women) are crucial to the development of the child. Uncompromisingly, if we father a child, we set up a non-negotiable duty. There is no such thing as “baby fathers” or "baby mothers". It is our duty to ensure that our children are safe.
Life is not perfect; the responsibility of being a Father may be difficult to live up to. The ideal ingredients being, not a teenager, correct sense of humour mixed with self respect. Don’t expect a thanks at the end of child rearing. Learn to step back from moments and realise your life is not all about you anymore. Just know that you were doing what you ought to have done. For, we were there at the conception; we took that risk like men, so we must take the consequences.
What consequences?
Depends on what side of the fence you are on. On the one side you have fear, expense, old wardrobe, aging car, insecurity, loss of freedom, reduced parties, lack of knowledge (basically you know that you do not know what you are doing), tired at work, sleepless nights, worry, loss of self-confidence, loss of routine, lack of attention in everyway from your other half and sometimes plain boredom.
Compare this to what you cannot script or control or even buy.
The mysteries of pregnancy, antenatal classes, hospitals, mystery of birth, finding a suitable name, pushchair buying, finding a big enough home, decorating, rocking the babies to sleep, first clothes, first bath, first words, first steps, first reading, first maths, first driving lesson, time when they leave home for their adventures, passing on acquired skills, barbershop trips, storytelling, trips to the park, holidays, parties, real hugs, laughter, playing, exciting children films, 1st days at school, concerts, parents evenings, more children, sharing priceless moments with your other half, friendship with other couples who have children, grandparents, the list is endless.
One day a week I manage to take my kids to school and pick them up. Imagine the look on their faces when I pick them up. You can go to the shops or the park after school. They are full of life and have so much to share. In the mornings and afterschool the playground is bursting at the seams with parents. I work in secondary school, older children do not need to be escorted to school, therefore we do not see so many people.
Why would any sane mature man want to run away?
Check out the US actor Malik Yoba and his son in my embedded movie from BET Shoptalk whats on men mind. His son asks him a typical question. How do you know when you become a man?
The bottom line is:
Qui tacet consentire videtur
He who keeps silent is assumed to consent; silence gives consent.
Did Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher bully the miners during the 80s? Was it robust management or clear leadership? Why is it permissible to print Prime Minister Gordon Brown as a bully in the 21st Century? Who has never been bullied? Who among us signed up to a job thinking it was a job/school/university of a lifetime only to be disappointed after a couple of months for the main leader/manager needs psychiatric treatment?
According to DMX, in most walks of life we can choose to live by chance or choice. Both areas lead to suffering. Is this true or are happy days definitely far away? Do you feel like you are slipping?
Unfortunately, by chance, bullies are in all spheres of life. It is as if we need them to be 100% motivationally fit. Psychologically, no stress=no response=death.
That said, we do not need to be overly stressed to prove that we need our basic provisions out of life. Further, bullying cannot legally be proven until the recipient objects to their treatment. For each recipient the goal posts are different. Sometimes out of shock, for reasons only known to ourselves, we keep quiet when we are being bullied (because it may damage our financial prospects), or worse remain quiet when a colleague is being bullied (because we are glad we are not the one in the firing line getting our ass whooped).
Regardless of our stance, we should develop enough self-integrity to read the climate signals of bullying. You have the choice to ensure duty of care for ourselves and others by:
recognising when important information is being withheld to complete a task
recognising we have been assigned a task to keep us ungainfully distracted
recognising that we have been given unrealistic deadlines to meet
recognising when the bully is denouncing or being disrespectful
recognising that the bully expects you to continuously behave in a super human way
recognising that the aim of bullying is to undermine an individuals confidence
recognising that your learning has become impaired
recognising that bullies are often individuals who are overloaded with whatever there preoccupation is in life and are often stressed out(check out their demeanor)
recognising they generally bully a number of people (including family)
recognising that the bully had a disturbing upbringing
recognising that the bully is usually the biggest bull s***t*r on this planet
recognising that the bully is a ‘billy no mates’ they do not have any real friends even if they claim that they have
recognise that your days routine is totally geared towards the bullys approval
recognising that the bully has a habit of constantly seeking new initiatives
recognising that the bully is constantly changing their minds
To counteract a hostile environment, coach one another by:
ensuring on a regular basis that we are happily engaged with whatever our preoccupation is (has to be a legitimate activity)
ensure we feel fully involved (does not require constant talking)
share goals that can be attained
strive for excellence at all costs
be realistic and know that we do fail from time to time, depending on the degree of failure expect to be reprimanded in a just way
If you happen to meet these people at work/school etc, it is your choice to stay associated with them or exit to preserve the little sanity you have left.
Whatever you decide do not remain silent and suffer for you will only slip into trouble.
I had to add this classic from the 80s for those who feel bullied in their relationships:
The bottom line is:
"Once a man, twice a child."
The Greeks have a fantastic legend called Nemesis. Basically it posits that you run and leave your past. This is not indefinite for one day your past catches up with you, proving that every action has a consequence. This is called your Nemesis.
Imagine losing 50-60 years of all the knowledge you have learned. Of all the known illnesses, it has suddenly been realised that Dementia is the least researched area. Without discussing the lack of money in the deficit pension black hole, the government knows that we have a ticking time bomb on our hands as more and more people are living longer. Length in life, limited research, comes at an expense. The cost of care verses the rate of people succumbing to dementia is alarming.
Allow me to present my Father in law:
He has had dementia for about 5 years now. I randomly asked him these questions which ordinarily he struggles to answer. Today is a good day. During the summer the condition is worse. He gets very frustrated with not being able to go where he wants, whenever he wants. His long term memory is ok. He frequently mentions names of places and people from his childhood days as if they are present here and now. It is his short term memory that is malfunctioning. He is at the stage where his memory for recognizing things has completely taken over,whereas his memory for recalling things is almost dead. (Recall memory is obtained through learning, involving some combination of practice, memorisation and application. On the other hand recognition memory is learned through exposure of our senses and does not necessarily involve any memory of origin, context or relevance)
Herein lies the problem. You dare not leave the front door unlocked. You do not leave any keys lying around. He cannot be left alone as he prone to forget what has happened within the last 10 minutes. He will ask for his wife every 10 minutes. After 10 minutes of missing her, if she is not present or in another room in the house, he will turn over everything until he finds her. For which it is very tiring for her to have him around her every minute of the day.
Further, conversation is limiting because he forgets what he discussed 10 minutes earlier. He is as dependent as our small children (it can be very testing if you have to look after small children under the age of 10 and older people at the same time. Small children do as they are told whereas older people just stubbornly follow their own mind and are more than willing to waste time in arguing with you, as well as waste time because they simply cannot hurry up. Don't expect much sympathy from your place of work, as in my experience the laws have not changed to reflect the double circumstance).
When we go out you have to constantly watch him as he will wander off within split seconds, again looking for his wife. Crowded environments such as shopping centres can be disastrous. Fortunately we live in a Borough that is investing some research in dementia. Therefore we receive some help.
The main point is, of course it is very tiring for all of us involved, however, we technically have it light compared to others. He can still walk and just about go to the toilet. My mother in-law is his main carer. I am in constant amazement at the energy of my mother in law who has been married to him for over 45 years. If this is not love, then I need a new definition. His neighbours who have lived in the same street for over 30 years have been extremely helpful, alerting us when he has managed to slip out of the house and walked off down the road. Many dementia sufferers blow into full Alzheimer’s. Loss of memory and loss of basic body functions. For people who have to deal with this, it is a painful experience even leading to loss of dignity if not loved or adequately provided for.
So why am I writing about it? What happens if you were not a kind loving person in the past? What happens if you have an unstable life where you are always moving around? What happens if you have not enjoyed the ubiquitous stable relationship we crave? What happens if you find it hard to commit?
In the old peoples centres I visit, you can tell who were the nasty characters in life. It does not mean that these people were unsuccessful. On the contrary, many had powerful positions and made good money. With all that success, unfortunately they forgot to practice kindness and end up lonely in a home. They are quite vicious in behaviour and hardly anyone drops in to visit them. It is so sad.
While we are young, find the right kind of accommodation that can house our older ones as well as our own offspring comfortably (leads to less feeling of intrusion by all if we can claim our own quiet corner). Make your peace with family members, for if the responsibility falls on you it can certainly be a time for testing. I am not convinced that my community is fully prepared. We are living in times when people find it hard to COMMIT to one person, one family. Trust me, if we cannot get this small thing right, imagine how difficult our situation is when most of our families are now spread out and slightly dysfunctional. Something we rarely talk about in Barbers shops, yet it is creeping upon us like a nasty viral disease. Particularly, as statistically, in the western world, due to reverse birth rate, there are more older people than young people in this country.
Finally when at work, stick to and spread your assets. If you are fortunate not to have incapacitated older ones to look after, negotiate time in the day for yourself, minimise the need to recall information from memory whenever possible. Practise making decisions from recognition. For when your mind/memory goes, whether it is recall or recognition, it has gone.
When conditions are right we can really enjoy a good laugh. It does not take much to build this into our lives.
Check out one of my friends, the comedian Felix Dexter in the Real McCoy show during the 90s. As far as growing up is concerned these clips by Felix and the rest of the Real McCoy crew were revolutionary as we rarely see great creativity like this on mainstream TV today. But then thats another blog! : )
The bottom line is:
"An open mind is the beginning of self-discovery and growth. We can't learn anything new until we can admit that we don't already know everything."
Erwin G. Hall
You can tell its half term. My family is at the Museums. This week we are visiting the Science Museum. I am telling you its standing room only. There are so many visitors. I have noticed you don't see black people in proportion to the amount of people there. Check out this video called 'Social Light' by Scott Snibe starring my family in the Launch Pad.
It reminds me of this song made by Herman's Hermits in 1967 which was still being played when I was having my daytime sleep in Nursery in the 70s.
The bottom line is:
"Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much."
Luke 16:10
My colleagues and I were reading job applications that were sent to my place of work. It is amazing that when we apply for a job we can set a number of alarm bells off because of our inaccurate and yet truthful statements.
We got into a heated debate about is the principle Truth more important than principle Trust?
The answer is no. We need both. When the two are combined it has a powerful force of contributing to the principle of Honesty.
Why do we find it hard to speak about truthful issues today?
Religion claimed to have had a monopoly on Truth. Developments were held back because those who were seen as the guardians of truth restricted advances. What makes people disbelieve is when the very same guardians of truth resort to violence abuse in the name of protecting Truth (such as blowing up people and places).
Honestly does real Truth need protecting?
The fact is real Truth is the quality that requires some sort of personal sacrifice. We have learned not to look at politicians, religious people (even though religion has a valuable place), scientists or anyone who abuses their position of authority.
You have to learn to differentiate truthful principles for onself. Avoid being called up for trial by the judiciary for their job is to force the truth out of a situation. We must make personal preparations with no excuses. Of which many seem unable to commit. For example, if you want to buy a house and you do not have the money, then you have to make the sacrifice of saving money. It may mean curtailing a party like lifestyle. It may take years of saving. Lets be truthful you won't get what you want if you are unprepared to make a personal sacrifice. I could go onto discussing other areas in life.
So it would appear that Trust is the dominant quality out of the two. Trust is the one that records all of your financial transactions (credit reference agencies). It may help or prevent you from obtaining your first mortgage. Trust is the glue that secretly records your ability to maintain relationships. Trust is the principle, if you have stuck to your job even when it is boring and are constantly diligent, it will get you that promotion you deserve whether in the company or outside. Trust measures your integrity, then reports before all its verdict.
Trust is the one that if people or organisations were ever to doubt you, it will prevent you from moving forward in your life. Remember Trust takes a lifetime to build and yet a few seconds of insanity to destroy.
We need to learn to upkeep both qualities. Unfortunately we have all been dishonest at some point in our lives.
Don't make it a regular habit.
Dishonesty has amazing ways of resurfacing like in jobs applications we write, or for example mortgage applications.
Many do not realise that they are unable to advance in life because at some point they have not cleared up the moment or moments of dishonesty. Our lives will be a lot worse if we fail to understand these two qualities. Quite simply put, practice the hardest thing in life everyday. Be honest and count your blessings : )
Final point, despite the bottom line is a quote from the bible, if it is not practised don't make the mistake of relying on religion to make you a honest person.
One of my favourite film producers 'Jay Will' of Game Over production from my background of Jamaica makes a point out of this in the following short films:
further
The bottom line:
We have all experienced moments when we are forced into the corner of difficulties. Options seem to be limited, events seem to be a matter of chance rather than choice. How can we overcome this?
"Courage is the first of human qualities because it is the quality which guarantees all others."
Winston Churchill
Remember no one is born with courage. It is a decision to dig deep into our character, look for the strength to ask for help from the right people. Leave a hostile work place, release oneself from someone who is mentally or physically bullying you. Or for reasons only known to oneself to stay in the difficult situation patiently waiting for a good and acceptable moment of release. It takes courage to believe in ones gift and be creative. To find something positive everyday requires that we practice courage. To scaffold this, the starting point is to appreciate things that money can never buy.
I think that the late Michael Jackson was courageous. Maybe that was the reason why there was a huge following at his funeral.
Below is a tribute I found on You Tube created by Sir Piers Music:
Even better, who remembers the film: "Get on the bus" by Spike Lee about the Million Man March to Washington. I went to the cinema and saw this movie in 1996. Michael Jackson contributed a song to this movie, words written by Babyface which sums up the word Courage.
I am going to add one more song. I had never heard of Kirk Franklin until I saw this movie. I am telling you as a young black male just finishing University, the whole film was quite influential.
The bottom line is:
Despite being pressured, create space in your life to declutter your thinking. Remember the 5 Rs, organise what you know into Rules, Rights, Responsibilities, Routines and Resources.
Following this,
"The second step to getting the things you want out of life is this:
Decide what you want."
Ben Stein
If we are not conscious you will find oneself in the following situation:
"The person who views the world at fifty the same as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life."
Muhammad Ali
A classic Jamaican film my Mum introduced to me when I was small was "The Harder they Come." The message is true. nothing ventured, nothing gained.
The bottom line is:
"No fear, no surprise, no hesitation, doubt or allow oneself to wallow in disappointment."
Richard Templar adapted from a seventeenth century samurai warrior.
I must admit I am not the most pragmatic of people. I have learned it is hard to plan for all eventualities. Recent earthquake disaster in Haiti have me reviewing my own critical incident instructions.
Relating to this my favourite series at the moment is BBC Survivors. I have the first series as a DVD box set. We are now on series 2. They are good lessons in teaching how to deal with crises/trauma by sometimes referring to how selfishly immature we can be when we have to deal with an emergency.
The series deliciously promotes maturity. The sub plots divide the characters into the following themes: Prejudice, Superstition, Ignorance, Fear, Tolerance, Consideration, Detachment, Constancy, Cheerfulness and finally absence of Negative Emotions.
Series 2 episode 1 aptly illustrates what it is like to be trapped in a building that has collapsed. My prayers are for everyone in Haiti : (
Copy and paste the URL below in your URL bar as my link is not working properly.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00pzch5/Survivors_Series_2_Episode_1/
Have you heard of Hugh Masekela? I was introduced to his music when I was in Mozambique in 1996. Check out one of his songs.
The bottom line is:
"do not think too small, like the frog at the bottom of the well. He thinks that the sky is only as big as the top of the well. If he surfaced, he would have an entire different view".
Mao-Tse- Tung
Someone asked me recently what are the biggest changes on the horizon in my job? I immediately thought of a small video I created 3 years ago. What I understand now is, change is inevitable, if conditions are correct, we have to retrain to be able to adapt to the following:
*Most students will have their own Wi-Fi enabled notebooks.
*Most students will access learning material personalised for them on Managed Learning Environment.
*Most students will socialise and be represented by their own avatar in the Virtual Learning Environment.
*Most students will belong to a school which has been organised into "Federations".
*Individual schools within the Federation will have the suffix Campus.
*Most exams will be online with rapid response results.
What should not have changed is the meaning behind teaching. Regardless of the supposedly broad and balanced technological innovation, the primary teaching vehicle of change should be to constantly challenge ourselves, students, parents and colleagues.
Raise the bar of knowledge and achievement by interrogating the seen and indirect assumptions and prejudices of ourselves, students, parents and colleagues. Followed by focusing on modelling to our peers and students the best principles ever thought and said transforming the WOW factor to engage all learners. Without this foundation new technology is nothing.
There is more. However, to keep it simple the video below illustrates the above:
My video of the week is by
Undisputed Chet Baker, who despite his brilliance, struggled with his inner demons, ultimately losing his life not reflecting how good he was. An important lesson to us all.
"My Funny Valetine"
The theme for this weeks bottom line is taken from Professor Louise Stoll.
She said:
"In a fast changing world, if can't learn, unlearn and relearn, you're lost. Sustainable and continuous learning is a given of the 21st century."
According to the famous US Covey family (the authors of the extremely popular 7 habits of highly effective people series) Principles are invisible laws that rule our known world. Principles are not religious. They do not belong to you or me or a nominated country. They apply equally to everyone, rich or poor, male or female. They cannot be bought or sold. The interpretaion of them around the world adds richness. Generally if you apply them you may excel. If you happens to break one of them, then you are immediately at the mercy of consequences.
Examples of principles are: Love, Honesty, Volunteering, Gratitude, Fairness, Integrity, Loyalty, Quality, Forgiveness, Responsibility, Moderation and Respect. Of course there are more!
Compare and contrast the principles into why the following links in my opinion are of high quality
My URL link is not working so copy and paste these URLs in your URL bar:
http://www.photosbyknight.com/gray/
(Excellent Photoslide show, don't order photography until you have seen this example)
http://www.rossoscarknight.com
(Excellent author of the Photo slide show)
http://www.blackisbeautiful.se/
(Excellent clean coverage of Black media which you don't see mainstream)
I am proud to say that I have two friends among many who really understand colour. I quite often quote their works to my students when they are misunderstanding the world. Ross Oscar Knight in Atlanta, USA and Andreas in Sweden, Scandanavia. If you see their web pages it will change your attitude to seeing the world through Rose coloured glasses. These guys are awesome. And certainly most humble when we manage to communicate.
I often remind my students to focus on PRINCIPLES. Study them, refer to them, apply them, for it will enrich their work and ultimately gain higher marks.
In loving memory of Teddy Pendergrass who
taught men real manners back in the days!
and
More bottom lines to follow : )
